Relationships and partnerships can be difficult to maintain and sustain. This is especially true when people are busy with work and personal schedules. In some cases, being in a relationship for a long time can cause partners to become less close.
If you find and your partner aren’t as close as you once were, it may be time to opt for the relationship counselling Melbourne locals are relying on to help strengthen their partnerships. A common recommendation is to become more empathetic.
What is Empathy?
Simply put, empathy is the act of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. This involves giving some thought to how a situation, event, or emotion is making another person feel. It also involves understanding why they have a specific emotional reaction to something.
Being empathetic allows you to understand why your partner may be angry or upset over specific issues. Once you know what the reasoning is behind their reaction, behaviour, or lack thereof, you’ll both be able to work on resolving the issue.
Focus on the Strengths
Relationships, marriages, and partnerships require ongoing effort from both parties if they are going to last. Depending on your unique dynamic, keeping your relationship alive may take more effort the longer you’re in it. In these instances, a therapist may recommend being more empathetic to each other’s needs and feelings. We’ve asked our panel of experts to share a few simple ways you can start doing this.
Never Underestimate the Power of Communication
The number one way to teach yourself more empathy is by focusing on regular, open, and honest communication. This can be challenging when you’ve been in the same relationship for a while as you may feel as though you’ve heard it all before.
You may also think that you know your partner so well that you know exactly what they’re going to say or how they’re going to react. This can leave you being dismissive toward your partner and treating them as though they’re irrelevant.
Working on your communication starts with becoming a more active listener. You can do this by practising the following:
- Set time aside for an active conversation with your partner.
- Maintain eye contact and don’t appear irritated.
- Avoid distractions and ignore your phone.
- Let your partner tell you what’s on their mind, or why they’re having a specific reaction to a particular issue.
- Listen to understand rather than to reply.
2. Ditch the Judgement
It’s easy for partners to become more judgmental of each other as time goes on. This can stem from past disagreements or even from situations where they acted in a way that you didn’t agree with. It could also be because you feel as though the person isn’t being supportive enough.
It’s very difficult to empathetic toward someone if you’re busy judging their every word. Practice being considerate rather than judgmental. Create a mantra that you can repeat in your head when you feel judgment coming on. An easy one to remember is “I listen, and I don’t judge”. Work on being more considerate and supportive. Be encouraging and focus on making the best of each situation.
3. Be Mindful
Being mindful refers to being present in a specific situation. Working on your phone when your partner is talking to you is a common example of this. In this instance you aren’t giving your full attention to your partner and what they’re saying.
Look for opportunities to spend more time with your partner and focus all your attention on them in that moment. Listen to what they’re saying and show empathy by making them feel that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter. It’s a good idea to spend time away from home so that you don’t end up arguing. Go on a picnic, or a dinner date, or visit your favourite place.
4. Let Your Partner Know That Their Needs Matter
Showing your partner that their needs and feelings matter is an essential component of being more empathetic. Do this by learning to identify when they need company, encouragement, support, or simply just want to be left alone.
Giving them the space to experience their emotions not only goes a long way toward preventing arguments but shows your partner that you understand them and their needs. Be sure to let your partner know when you need the same consideration.
You and your partner should work together to be more understanding of each other’s emotions and the reasons for them. Speak to your therapist to assist you with a few techniques to help you with this if you find it difficult to do on your own.
Final Thoughts
Relationships only work when both partners equally hard on finding and appreciating common ground. Practising empathy is always a good starting point and involves simple factors such as sharing responsibilities, being present in each situation, avoiding judgment and respecting each other’s boundaries. If your relationship is important to you, use our tips and those recommended by your therapist to put in the extra effort!